FMT: Fullmetal Troublemaker
by crematosis
Summary: Ed has decided that he has had it with Roy's constant teasing and he has sworn revenge. So what's he gonna do? Play a prank on Roy of course! Violence, swearing, and romance


A/N: Please don't hurt me…It's my first time doing an FMA fic so I don't quite have everyone's personalities down…but I've been watching episodes of the show and reading other fanfics for ideas. Just because I'm new to FMA doesn't mean I'm new to fanfictions…I'm mostly a Star Ocean writer, but I decided to branch out into a new direction and personally, I think this will be fun to write.

Disclaimer: I don't really own Ed, Roy, or Al…but I decided to create my own version of them…on Wildlife Park. They make such cute cats. Aaack! No, bad Al! No mating with Ed! runs off to rescue Ed

It started out as a typical day in Central…

"Ed, get in here," Roy growled.

Ed scowled and walked up to Roy's desk, his arms crossed over his chest. "What is it this time?"

Roy held up a piece of paper. "What is this?"

"My report," Ed muttered.

Roy frowned. "It looks like a lot of scribbles to me."

Ed's scowl deepened. "It's not my fault you can't read very well. I think you're just getting old."

Roy's eyes blazed. "Oh, I know how terrible your handwriting is. That would have been bad enough, except that you've also got grass stains and blood stains all over this. How do you explain that, Fullmetal?"

Ed snorted. "It's not my fault. Don't you know there's a war going on?"

Roy sighed and let the paper drift down onto his desk. "That may be true but I would appreciate it if you put a _little_ more effort into your work."

Ed slammed his fists on Roy's desk. "Are you calling me small?" he demanded.

Roy smirked. "It's not my fault that your temper has a _short_ fuse."

"Aargh, bastard!" Ed shouted. "I am NOT short!"

Roy ignored him. "I see that you're also in short supply of-"

Ed didn't let him finish. "Who are you calling so short that an ant could tower over him?"

Roy looked amused. "Seeing that there are just the two of us in this room and I couldn't possibly be talking about myself…"

Ed was seething with rage. "Why do you have to do that to me all the time? I hate you!"

Luckily, at that moment, Al walked, keeping a fight from breaking out. "Brother, come quickly!"

Ed turned a scathing glance at Roy. Roy nodded absently. "You may go, but I want you back here first thing tomorrow so you can fix this mess." He fluttered the report in Ed's face.

"Fine," Ed snapped, stalking out of the colonel's office. "Stupid colonel. Stupid, stupid bastard," Ed muttered under his breath.

Al looked concerned. "Brother, did you have another fight with the colonel?"

"Ah, forget about it, Al. Now what's the emergency?"

Al stopped and shifted nervously. "Well, you see….there was this cat lying on the side of the road-"

"Al, you better not have dragged me out here for some stupid cat!" Ed warned.

"But it's hurt! Someone ran over it! Please, brother, we have to help it."

"Al, you know we can't get a cat."

"Just for one night? It'll die if we don't take care of it."

"You know what? I don't care anymore," Ed growled. "Take care of the mangy fur ball if you want. It's not my problem."

Al beamed. "Thank you, brother!" He stopped at the side of the road and scooped up the limp gray cat and hurried after Ed.

"You know, I didn't bring you out here just because of the cat. I was trying to keep you and Roy from killing each other."

"Thanks a lot, Al," Ed muttered darkly. "I was so close to wiping that smug bastard off the face of the earth, and then you show up."

"You know you're not supposed to kill your commanding officer," Al reminded him.

"The hell with the rules," Ed growled. "He has it coming, picking on me like that all the time."

"Brother, you have to control your temper or it'll just get you in trouble."

Ed snorted. "I'm already in trouble. I have to come in tomorrow and redo my report. It's not my fault that my handwriting is hard to read! If he knows that so well, he shouldn't make me write reports! It'd save his eyesight and we can both be happy."

"Well," Al ventured meekly. "Maybe you should try writing a little neater."

"Oh great, you're taking his side?" Ed exclaimed. "Some brother you are."

"Sorry," Al muttered. "I was just trying to help."


End file.
